Thursday, January 12, 2017

Everything

 https://youtu.be/uFRYdGihOl4
This video captures how I had felt years ago when I first left the International Church of Christ.  I left mainly because I was hoping to mend my relationship with my husband and secondly because I began to question the church's expectations.  There was a point back then when I actually had a knife in my hand and was about to harm myself.  Luckily I didn't do it. Instead I went to my bed and cried and screamed into my pillow while holding on to the edge of the bed so that I wouldn't harm myself. I cried out to God and he saved me. It was like I was paralyzed. I couldn't move from the bed until my great despair had left me.  About 40 minutes later my husband and my child came home, only then was I able to move.   At the time I had not come to fully realize how the teachings of my church had warped my view of my husband.  I really saw Kevin as the video depicts the first man that dances with the young girl.  He basically pushes God away from her.  At the time when I first saw this video, I felt that is what Kevin had done.  He made me leave God so that I could have a relationship with him and the world.   Now when I watch this video, I do not see my husband as that young man. Now each of the characters represent the distractions of this world and the lies that I tell myself. It is a very powerful video and still moves me to tears. Especially the end of it, when the girl fights back.  That is where I am at now.  Fighting to get back to God, the one who loves me, my creator.

What prompted me to write about this video is a letter I found that I written long ago.  In the letter I talk about this video and how I felt like the girl in it.  To watch the video, click on the link in the photo's caption.

No comments:

Post a Comment