For The Good Of Those Who Love

January 7, 2017

Day 7: My Secret:
"Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything.  Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done.  Then you will experience God's peace, which exceeds anything we can understand.  His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.
—Philippians 4:6-7.

In today's entry Dr. Anderson tells the story of how he met his wife and how this scripture and all of Philippians changed him from an atheist to a believer.  He was helping his wife (friend at the time) memorize all of Philippians and through that experience God spoke to him and changed his heart.  I have heard many stories of people coming to know Christ through similar means.  It's always heartwarming, but also challenging.  As I read the prayer for the day I couldn't help but feel fear underneath my desire to believe that God is loving.   The prayer:  "Help me to keep your Word hidden in my heart, Lord.  May I store up your commands, draw from your well of knowledge, sing your praises, remember Jesus' parables to help through every season. Thank you for allowing me to know you better through the Bible."   The Word is the Bible, at least that is what I have been taught, but I guess it could also be Jesus/God/God's essence.  If the Word is the Bible, then ALL of the Bible must be hidden in my heart and treasured.  Here is where my distrust begins.  When I was deeply entrenched in the church and called to live a godly life, I believed all that I was doing (following the teachings of the church/Bible) was right and good, but I pushed people away.  Is that going to happen again?  Will the scriptures lead to me convictions that cause me to act like many supposedly loving Christians who treat others in such a contradictory manner to Jesus' command to love one another?  Something else that I have struggled with is that there is so much in the Bible that speaks of God's anger, his jealousy, and at times his manipulation and testing of hearts.  One incident in particular nags at my mind and heart.  The Bible says that HE hardened the heart of Pharaoh forcing him to keep Moses from leading his people out of Egypt.  What choice did Pharaoh have in that?  Wondering about this, I just looked up something that suggests that God passively hardened Pharaoh's heart simply by working in favor of the Israelites.  It was the circumstances that God allowed to have happen that hardened Pharaoh, not God directly.  That may be true, but the Bible presents it as a direct act.  Also his testing of Job, specifically, but there are many others too.  Plus His destruction of people.  I have such conflicting feeling about these things because I don't like the idea of a loving God toying with people.  But there is another way to look at all of this. It is not so much that He is toying with us.  He or She is using life circumstances to perfect us, to prove to ourselves that we are faithful and true.  He or She already knows if we are, but we do not know it ourselves unless we are tested.  It's like working out and strengthening my body.  If I never test myself, how will I really know what I can accomplish.  If I never push myself beyond what I think I am capable of, how will I ever know my true strength.  It comes down to believing without a doubt that God works all things together for the good of those who love Him/Her. (Romans 8:28).  I must not fear.