June 28, 2017
Day 174: Turn Off Technology To Turn Off Anxiety:
"The Lord himself will fight for you. Just stay calm." —Exodus 14:14
The title for Day 174's lesson resonates with me, especially as of late. So much of what I read on Facebook is anxiety inducing. Cruelty abounds, injustice is prevalent, and the feeling of helplessness increases daily. I like to be informed, just not inundated to the point that it is debilitating and I lose hope. However, through it all I am learning when to hold on and when to let go.
Day 175: She Always Knew He Was There:
"A demon-possessed man, who was blind and couldn't speak, was brought to Jesus. He healed the man so that he could both speak and see. The crowd was amazed and asked, 'Could it be that Jesus is the Son of David, the Messiah?'" —Matthew 12:22-23
I really like Anderson's discussion for Day 175 in which he shares his experience of learning about Helen Keller when he was young. I had never really thought about whether Helen Keller believed in God, but Anderson says that when Helen Keller was first introduced to the gospel of Jesus Christ, she is said to have replied "that she had always known that Jesus was there, and now she was glad to know his name." I just really like that, perhaps because I can relate to it. That sort of intuitive knowing. I cannot remember a time when I did not believe in God. I have always believed that there was something greater than all of us, some higher purpose, some deeper meaning to life.
Day 176: Jesus Sees The Saint In The Sinner's Smoke:
"I have seen what they do, but I will heal them anyway! I will lead them. I will comfort those who mourn." —Isaiah 57:18
The main point of Anderson's lesson for Day 176 is that "no matter what [we've] done, [we] can't hide behind a smoke screen. Jesus knows everything, and he covers it all with his blood."
We may feel as if we have done some unforgivable things in our lives, but Jesus forgives it all. Because He forgives it all, we are asked to forgive it all.
Just recently, after years and years of pain and regret I have been able to forgive my father (my biological father) for pushing me away, for allowing his wife Glenda to manipulate him into saying and doing so many hurtful things to all of us kids...his kids. Just a few days before he passed away I was able to let go of all of the hurt, pain, hard feelings, regret, anger, frustration. All of it. It is simply gone.
Forgiveness, when it is true, is one of the most amazing things. It's hard to explain exactly how it happens, because we can say that we forgive someone, but until it is really in your heart, you are not free from the feelings that another's transgressions or offenses have created within you. I truly have the attitude of "No hard feelings Dad. We all make mistakes." I am deeply grateful to be free from the feelings I had for my father. Now there is only the hope that he will be at peace.
Wednesday, June 28, 2017
Sunday, June 25, 2017
Musings
June 25, 2017
Day 170: Crossing The Rubicon
"Jesus said to him, 'Go, for your faith has healed you.' Instantly the man could see, and he followed Jesus down the road.'"—Mark 10:2
Anderson asks, "Are we ready to cast our old lives aside and follow Jesus? Will we also go forward with a new vision from Jesus and refuse to look back?"
These are two questions or at least variations of two questions that I was asked before I was
baptized—the third time: once as a baby, once as a teen, and then again as an adult. Apparently I needed a lot of cleansing. (lol) Interesting thing is that when I became a member of Church of Christ, my first two baptisms didn't count in their eyes. I think my teenage one was probably when I truly accepted Christ as my savior. It didn't count in the eyes of the church because I "prayed Jesus into my heart," rather than using their way which was a 12 week study series, followed by a confession (having to write out every sin I could possibly remember and sharing that with those who studied with me) and then finally a baptism. I personally do not see any of this in the above scripture regarding the man Jesus healed. To follow Jesus, you simply need to follow Jesus. I know there is a bit more to it than that according to later scriptures regarding receiving the Holy Spirit. I suppose that a 12 week study works as a way to learn what it means to follow Jesus since we cannot physically walk with him in the traditional sense. I just feel as if Christianity today makes everything so complicated and rather rote. The heart is beating, but it's like it's caged.
Day 171: Waiting Until The Fog Clears:
"How do you know what your life will be like tomorrow? Your life is like the morning fog—it's here a little while, then it's gone. What you ought to say is, 'If the Lord wants us to, we will live and do this or that.'"—James 4:14-15
Though there is a part of me that believes the end of the scripture to be true or that yes, that is what we ought to do, it still gets to me a bit. I know it is basically saying "God's will be done," and there is much good to come of that, but somehow it makes me feel far from God.
Day 172: Practicing Sabbath All Week Long:
"This dear woman, daughter of Abraham, has been held in bondage by Satan for eighteen years. Isn't it right that she be released on the Sabbath.?" —Luke 13:16
This scripture reminds of me of something I read earlier this morning that spoke of Jesus and what he would do.
1. He openly questioned the religion of his upbringing.
2. He quoted scripture from his " Bible" said it was wrong and did otherwise.
3. He encouraged others to move beyond the commandments in scripture to follow their heart.
4. He openly embraced people his " Bible" forbade him to associate with and he was NOT trying to convert them to his religion.
5. He never asked to be worshipped and did not start a new religion.
6. He did not believe scriptures were the "Word of God." (He clearly called them "The word of Moses.")
7. He was shut out, shunned and eventually killed by religious leaders.
8. He never asked anyone to pray a "sinner's prayer" or to ask him into their heart.
9. He rarely attended religious gatherings and, when he did, it was often to denounce their practices.
10. He put "meeting human need" over any kind of religious activities or exercises.
I would much rather do as Jesus would do.
Day 173: The Crying Ceases When The Music Comforts:
"Lord, you know the hopes of the helpless. Surely you will heart their cries and comfort them."
—Psalm 10:17
I completely agree with Anderson when he he says, "There is something deep within each of us that is touched by music. It resonates in our hearts and souls and heals us from the inside out."
I can't imagine my life without music. It reaches my heart quicker than any words can.
Day 170: Crossing The Rubicon
"Jesus said to him, 'Go, for your faith has healed you.' Instantly the man could see, and he followed Jesus down the road.'"—Mark 10:2
Anderson asks, "Are we ready to cast our old lives aside and follow Jesus? Will we also go forward with a new vision from Jesus and refuse to look back?"
These are two questions or at least variations of two questions that I was asked before I was
baptized—the third time: once as a baby, once as a teen, and then again as an adult. Apparently I needed a lot of cleansing. (lol) Interesting thing is that when I became a member of Church of Christ, my first two baptisms didn't count in their eyes. I think my teenage one was probably when I truly accepted Christ as my savior. It didn't count in the eyes of the church because I "prayed Jesus into my heart," rather than using their way which was a 12 week study series, followed by a confession (having to write out every sin I could possibly remember and sharing that with those who studied with me) and then finally a baptism. I personally do not see any of this in the above scripture regarding the man Jesus healed. To follow Jesus, you simply need to follow Jesus. I know there is a bit more to it than that according to later scriptures regarding receiving the Holy Spirit. I suppose that a 12 week study works as a way to learn what it means to follow Jesus since we cannot physically walk with him in the traditional sense. I just feel as if Christianity today makes everything so complicated and rather rote. The heart is beating, but it's like it's caged.
Day 171: Waiting Until The Fog Clears:
"How do you know what your life will be like tomorrow? Your life is like the morning fog—it's here a little while, then it's gone. What you ought to say is, 'If the Lord wants us to, we will live and do this or that.'"—James 4:14-15
Though there is a part of me that believes the end of the scripture to be true or that yes, that is what we ought to do, it still gets to me a bit. I know it is basically saying "God's will be done," and there is much good to come of that, but somehow it makes me feel far from God.
Day 172: Practicing Sabbath All Week Long:
"This dear woman, daughter of Abraham, has been held in bondage by Satan for eighteen years. Isn't it right that she be released on the Sabbath.?" —Luke 13:16
This scripture reminds of me of something I read earlier this morning that spoke of Jesus and what he would do.
1. He openly questioned the religion of his upbringing.
2. He quoted scripture from his " Bible" said it was wrong and did otherwise.
3. He encouraged others to move beyond the commandments in scripture to follow their heart.
4. He openly embraced people his " Bible" forbade him to associate with and he was NOT trying to convert them to his religion.
5. He never asked to be worshipped and did not start a new religion.
6. He did not believe scriptures were the "Word of God." (He clearly called them "The word of Moses.")
7. He was shut out, shunned and eventually killed by religious leaders.
8. He never asked anyone to pray a "sinner's prayer" or to ask him into their heart.
9. He rarely attended religious gatherings and, when he did, it was often to denounce their practices.
10. He put "meeting human need" over any kind of religious activities or exercises.
I would much rather do as Jesus would do.
Day 173: The Crying Ceases When The Music Comforts:
"Lord, you know the hopes of the helpless. Surely you will heart their cries and comfort them."
—Psalm 10:17
I completely agree with Anderson when he he says, "There is something deep within each of us that is touched by music. It resonates in our hearts and souls and heals us from the inside out."
I can't imagine my life without music. It reaches my heart quicker than any words can.
Wednesday, June 21, 2017
The Hard Truth
June 21, 2017
Day 169: Admitting The Hard Truth:
"Even when you are chased by those who seek to kill you, your life is safe in the care of the Lord your God, secure in his treasure pouch!" —1 Samuel 25:29
I probably should not respond this way, but "treasure pouch?" That just makes me laugh and picture a kangaroo. Though I suppose that image works best if you desire to capture the feeling of safety and security. What could be safer than being nestled and protected in a pouch? Plus the added image of it being a treasure pouch. Of course people will protect their treasure. So I guess it all works. I feel as if I am being irreverent with such thoughts, but there they were. Just like waking up this morning and having my first thought be, "No one really likes you; they are just putting up with you." REALLY? That's what my mind decides to start my day with? I didn't even have my eyes open yet. That thought and today's title for Anderson's message does not sit well with me. Haha. Yes, I know it was only a thought, but what a way to wake up!
I imagine (among other reasons) that is why it is important to take every thought captive. Our thoughts can lead us to unhealthy, unhelpful, and untrue ideas about ourselves and others. I'd rather my thoughts do the opposite.
There is so much out there regarding the power of thought: documentaries, books, scientific studies, individual success stories, quotes from famous historical figures, the list goes on. So, instead of believing the lies that my mind seems to conjure up out of nowhere and giving into those thoughts, today I choose to admit the simple, yet hard truth—I may not be able to control what thoughts come into my head, but, as author Joyce Meyer has said, "I can decide if they'll stay there."
Day 169: Admitting The Hard Truth:
"Even when you are chased by those who seek to kill you, your life is safe in the care of the Lord your God, secure in his treasure pouch!" —1 Samuel 25:29
I probably should not respond this way, but "treasure pouch?" That just makes me laugh and picture a kangaroo. Though I suppose that image works best if you desire to capture the feeling of safety and security. What could be safer than being nestled and protected in a pouch? Plus the added image of it being a treasure pouch. Of course people will protect their treasure. So I guess it all works. I feel as if I am being irreverent with such thoughts, but there they were. Just like waking up this morning and having my first thought be, "No one really likes you; they are just putting up with you." REALLY? That's what my mind decides to start my day with? I didn't even have my eyes open yet. That thought and today's title for Anderson's message does not sit well with me. Haha. Yes, I know it was only a thought, but what a way to wake up!
I imagine (among other reasons) that is why it is important to take every thought captive. Our thoughts can lead us to unhealthy, unhelpful, and untrue ideas about ourselves and others. I'd rather my thoughts do the opposite.
There is so much out there regarding the power of thought: documentaries, books, scientific studies, individual success stories, quotes from famous historical figures, the list goes on. So, instead of believing the lies that my mind seems to conjure up out of nowhere and giving into those thoughts, today I choose to admit the simple, yet hard truth—I may not be able to control what thoughts come into my head, but, as author Joyce Meyer has said, "I can decide if they'll stay there."
Tuesday, June 20, 2017
It's My Choice
June 20, 2017
Day 168: Presence In The Present Moment:
"Can all you worries add a single moment to your life?" —Matthew 6:27
I want to write about Anderson's lesson of how everyone at the death of this man Paul showed their worries on their faces until Anderson told them, "I feel the presence of the Holy One in the room right now, and it won't be long [until Paul passes]. But only the Lord knows exactly when that will be." I want to write about how wonderful it is that Anderson's words could make the family's "worry lines [soften] as [they] began to understand that [they] were on holy ground...and a sense of peace that surpasses understanding seemed to fill everyone in the room." I want to write about all of that, but my mind is off somewhere else.
Ever have those mornings where you wake up and you're just uncomfortable in your body? You can feel your clothes clinging to your thighs and stomach and you hate yourself. Sometimes, for me, that feeling lasts for a moment or two. Other times it is all day. Honestly, my body is not much different than yesterday, but it feels different. I feel thicker somehow and I hate it. Then I go downstairs to get a coffee and see that once again my husband has left remnants of his breakfast on multiple counters and it just irks me! Why? Why can't he clean up after himself?
It's on days like these that I need to stop my mind from whirling into darkness. Do I really care that my husband didn't clean up his breakfast or am I just upset because of how I woke up feeling? I think the latter. So what do I do about it? To be honest, I started to blame these new birth control pills that I have been taking. I did not want my pill changed, but the ones I have used for years were supposedly out of stock, so some Dr., who I have never seen, prescribed something similar. I take birth control pills to keep my moods balanced. When I wasn't on birth control I was depressed and at times experienced suicidal ideation. So being on the right pill is important to me. Normally in the first few weeks of a new pack of pills I feel great, happy, content, productive. But not with this new set of pills. My problem is that I am unsure if it is the new pill making me feel this way, or if it is all the added stress of my son's surgery, my estranged father being in the hospital and not being able to see him or even knowing if I should try to see him, us moving to Canada and not being sure if the money to pay for the truck will arrive in time, everyday having to have the house ready to show at a moment's notice, and generally feeling like I can't work on projects because I may need to clean up at any moment. So is it the pill or is it simply stress?
Regardless of what it is, all my worries cannot add a single moment to my life. In fact as Dr. Anderson put it, "neither can it take a moment away." I am simply in the middle of a transition in my life and transitions are often difficult. Many changes are taking place at once and the last time this happened in my life I did not handle it well. I have spoken of it before [death of my mother, financial problems, church issues]. I am determined to find the joy in this transition. I have so much to be grateful for. So much:
My husband's success as an author
Being able to live in Colorado for the last three years
Having had the chance to travel to Australia
Being able to send our son on trips to Australia, Japan, England, Scotland, and New York City
Having the time to focus on my health and fitness after years of neglect
Getting the opportunity to open a craft business
Getting to experience a new country and be closer to my family as we head to Canada
But the greatest of all of these and more is that we have been able to help our child in a way that would have never been possible before. Moving to Colorado put us in the best position to help our son mentally, emotionally, and physically. We have had the best education, the most supportive community, and above all, easy access to the best health care professionals for transgender kids. My son was able to have top surgery two weeks ago and he has never felt better. Last Friday when he and I went for our usual drive, he looked over at me with tears in his eyes and said, "For the first time I feel right. I feel happy in my own skin. It's euphoric!" He just couldn't believe how good he felt and was all choked up thinking about it. It made me well up too. There really is no greater feeling than knowing your child is happy through and through.
So yeah, I may have woken up in a mood, but I have a choice. I can choose to allow that mood to poison my day, making me feel bad about myself and worry about things that are out of my control, or I can choose to be grateful and trust.
I choose gratefulness and trust.
Day 168: Presence In The Present Moment:
"Can all you worries add a single moment to your life?" —Matthew 6:27
I want to write about Anderson's lesson of how everyone at the death of this man Paul showed their worries on their faces until Anderson told them, "I feel the presence of the Holy One in the room right now, and it won't be long [until Paul passes]. But only the Lord knows exactly when that will be." I want to write about how wonderful it is that Anderson's words could make the family's "worry lines [soften] as [they] began to understand that [they] were on holy ground...and a sense of peace that surpasses understanding seemed to fill everyone in the room." I want to write about all of that, but my mind is off somewhere else.
Ever have those mornings where you wake up and you're just uncomfortable in your body? You can feel your clothes clinging to your thighs and stomach and you hate yourself. Sometimes, for me, that feeling lasts for a moment or two. Other times it is all day. Honestly, my body is not much different than yesterday, but it feels different. I feel thicker somehow and I hate it. Then I go downstairs to get a coffee and see that once again my husband has left remnants of his breakfast on multiple counters and it just irks me! Why? Why can't he clean up after himself?
It's on days like these that I need to stop my mind from whirling into darkness. Do I really care that my husband didn't clean up his breakfast or am I just upset because of how I woke up feeling? I think the latter. So what do I do about it? To be honest, I started to blame these new birth control pills that I have been taking. I did not want my pill changed, but the ones I have used for years were supposedly out of stock, so some Dr., who I have never seen, prescribed something similar. I take birth control pills to keep my moods balanced. When I wasn't on birth control I was depressed and at times experienced suicidal ideation. So being on the right pill is important to me. Normally in the first few weeks of a new pack of pills I feel great, happy, content, productive. But not with this new set of pills. My problem is that I am unsure if it is the new pill making me feel this way, or if it is all the added stress of my son's surgery, my estranged father being in the hospital and not being able to see him or even knowing if I should try to see him, us moving to Canada and not being sure if the money to pay for the truck will arrive in time, everyday having to have the house ready to show at a moment's notice, and generally feeling like I can't work on projects because I may need to clean up at any moment. So is it the pill or is it simply stress?
Regardless of what it is, all my worries cannot add a single moment to my life. In fact as Dr. Anderson put it, "neither can it take a moment away." I am simply in the middle of a transition in my life and transitions are often difficult. Many changes are taking place at once and the last time this happened in my life I did not handle it well. I have spoken of it before [death of my mother, financial problems, church issues]. I am determined to find the joy in this transition. I have so much to be grateful for. So much:
My husband's success as an author
Being able to live in Colorado for the last three years
Having had the chance to travel to Australia
Being able to send our son on trips to Australia, Japan, England, Scotland, and New York City
Having the time to focus on my health and fitness after years of neglect
Getting the opportunity to open a craft business
Getting to experience a new country and be closer to my family as we head to Canada
But the greatest of all of these and more is that we have been able to help our child in a way that would have never been possible before. Moving to Colorado put us in the best position to help our son mentally, emotionally, and physically. We have had the best education, the most supportive community, and above all, easy access to the best health care professionals for transgender kids. My son was able to have top surgery two weeks ago and he has never felt better. Last Friday when he and I went for our usual drive, he looked over at me with tears in his eyes and said, "For the first time I feel right. I feel happy in my own skin. It's euphoric!" He just couldn't believe how good he felt and was all choked up thinking about it. It made me well up too. There really is no greater feeling than knowing your child is happy through and through.
So yeah, I may have woken up in a mood, but I have a choice. I can choose to allow that mood to poison my day, making me feel bad about myself and worry about things that are out of my control, or I can choose to be grateful and trust.
I choose gratefulness and trust.
Monday, June 19, 2017
Remaining Open
June 19, 2017
Day 165: Going With A Smile:
"My heart has heard you say, 'Come and talk with me.' And my heart responds, "Lord, I am coming.'"
—Psalm 27:8
Day 166: Career-Saving Strength From God:
"Strengthen those who have tired hands, and encourage those who have weak knees." —Isiah 35:3
Day 167: Prayers For A Vote To Go Our Way:
"The council then threatened them further, but they finally let them go because they didn't now how to punish them without starting a riot. For everyone was praising God for this miraculous sign—the healing of a man who had been lame for more than forty years." —Acts 4:21-22
All three of these scriptures and the anecdotes that Anderson shares to go with them speak of trusting God—trusting that He will bring you home when the time is right and when He is ready to, trusting that you are where you are because He wants you there, trusting that He will deliver you in times of distress and danger.
Trust is the recurrent motif in much of what I have been reading as of late. I just finished Peter Enns' book The Sin of Certainty in which he focuses on trusting God rather than being certain of what you believe the Bible says. He explains that:
"Letting go of the need for certainty is more than just a decision about how we think; it's
a decision about how we want to live. When the quest for finding and holding on to certainty
is central to our faith, our lives are marked by traits we wouldn't normally value in others:
...dogmatic certainty, vigilant monitoring of who's in and who's out, preoccupation with
winning debates and defending the faith, privileging the finality of logical arguments,
conforming unquestionably to intellectual authorities and celebrities. A faith like that is in
constant battle mode....That kind of faith is not marked by trust in the Creator. But trust in
God casts out fear and cultivates a life of trust that flourishes regardless of how certain we
feel."
I appreciate his perspective because I personally feel as if I no longer have the capacity or desire to blindly follow a prescribed set of rules of what it means to follow God. I don't know how to "think correctly about God." If we can get beyond "correct thinking" and that need to be right and fight tooth and nail to prove that we are, and instead trust, it is then that we will know peace. As Enns says: "Developing that culture of trust rather than preoccupation with certainty means discerning, articulating, and embodying the heart and soul of the Christian tradition, while also—and just as passionately—remaining open to the movement of God's Spirit.
I want to remain open.
Day 165: Going With A Smile:
"My heart has heard you say, 'Come and talk with me.' And my heart responds, "Lord, I am coming.'"
—Psalm 27:8
Day 166: Career-Saving Strength From God:
"Strengthen those who have tired hands, and encourage those who have weak knees." —Isiah 35:3
Day 167: Prayers For A Vote To Go Our Way:
"The council then threatened them further, but they finally let them go because they didn't now how to punish them without starting a riot. For everyone was praising God for this miraculous sign—the healing of a man who had been lame for more than forty years." —Acts 4:21-22
All three of these scriptures and the anecdotes that Anderson shares to go with them speak of trusting God—trusting that He will bring you home when the time is right and when He is ready to, trusting that you are where you are because He wants you there, trusting that He will deliver you in times of distress and danger.
Trust is the recurrent motif in much of what I have been reading as of late. I just finished Peter Enns' book The Sin of Certainty in which he focuses on trusting God rather than being certain of what you believe the Bible says. He explains that:
"Letting go of the need for certainty is more than just a decision about how we think; it's
a decision about how we want to live. When the quest for finding and holding on to certainty
is central to our faith, our lives are marked by traits we wouldn't normally value in others:
...dogmatic certainty, vigilant monitoring of who's in and who's out, preoccupation with
winning debates and defending the faith, privileging the finality of logical arguments,
conforming unquestionably to intellectual authorities and celebrities. A faith like that is in
constant battle mode....That kind of faith is not marked by trust in the Creator. But trust in
God casts out fear and cultivates a life of trust that flourishes regardless of how certain we
feel."
I appreciate his perspective because I personally feel as if I no longer have the capacity or desire to blindly follow a prescribed set of rules of what it means to follow God. I don't know how to "think correctly about God." If we can get beyond "correct thinking" and that need to be right and fight tooth and nail to prove that we are, and instead trust, it is then that we will know peace. As Enns says: "Developing that culture of trust rather than preoccupation with certainty means discerning, articulating, and embodying the heart and soul of the Christian tradition, while also—and just as passionately—remaining open to the movement of God's Spirit.
I want to remain open.
Friday, June 16, 2017
Trust is Stronger Than Belief and Deeper than Faith
June 16, 2017
Day 164: Faith Based Medicine:
"Faith shows the reality of what we hope for; it is the evidence we cannot see." —Hebrews 11:1
The point of Anderson's lesson today is that though we trust our doctors and they in turn trust their training and various clinical studies, the only one we can really 100% trust is the Great Physician. "So why don't we put our trust and faith in the good doctor [God] who guarantees his treatment is 100% effective every time? Anderson says that some people say it's because "we can't see him." He believes that to be a problem because "we place our faith and trust in things we can't see all the time." For Anderson "there is enough evidence that God keeps his promises that [he] will fully trust [in God] until the day that [he dies]. He has "faith in his faithfulness."
When I looked up the differences between faith, belief, and trust the same story was shared by several authors. Each one focused on a gentleman by the name of Charles Blodin, who was a tightrope performer in the 1800s. Mara Shapshay in a blog entry stated that "Blodin was great at wowing the crowds with suspense and thrills. ...One time he carried his manager on his back" as he walked a tightrope over Niagara Falls. Shapshay notes that "In one show he asked the audience if they would be interested in seeing him push a wheelbarrow over the tightrope. The audience screamed out, 'Yes.'
The crowd had faith that he could push a wheelbarrow across the tightrope because they had seen him do many stunts before. But when Blondin asked if anyone would be interested in getting in the wheelbarrow, the response was a unanimous, 'No!'" The crowd's response is not surprising, but Shapshay uses the anecdote to exemplify that "we have faith that there is a higher power out there. We believe in that power. But how many of us really trust that higher power enough to get into that wheelbarrow?"
Though at times I may doubt and my faith may waver, my trust in the Lord remains. I am still willing to get into the wheelbarrow. My trust is what keeps me moving forward.
Day 164: Faith Based Medicine:
"Faith shows the reality of what we hope for; it is the evidence we cannot see." —Hebrews 11:1
The point of Anderson's lesson today is that though we trust our doctors and they in turn trust their training and various clinical studies, the only one we can really 100% trust is the Great Physician. "So why don't we put our trust and faith in the good doctor [God] who guarantees his treatment is 100% effective every time? Anderson says that some people say it's because "we can't see him." He believes that to be a problem because "we place our faith and trust in things we can't see all the time." For Anderson "there is enough evidence that God keeps his promises that [he] will fully trust [in God] until the day that [he dies]. He has "faith in his faithfulness."
When I looked up the differences between faith, belief, and trust the same story was shared by several authors. Each one focused on a gentleman by the name of Charles Blodin, who was a tightrope performer in the 1800s. Mara Shapshay in a blog entry stated that "Blodin was great at wowing the crowds with suspense and thrills. ...One time he carried his manager on his back" as he walked a tightrope over Niagara Falls. Shapshay notes that "In one show he asked the audience if they would be interested in seeing him push a wheelbarrow over the tightrope. The audience screamed out, 'Yes.'
The crowd had faith that he could push a wheelbarrow across the tightrope because they had seen him do many stunts before. But when Blondin asked if anyone would be interested in getting in the wheelbarrow, the response was a unanimous, 'No!'" The crowd's response is not surprising, but Shapshay uses the anecdote to exemplify that "we have faith that there is a higher power out there. We believe in that power. But how many of us really trust that higher power enough to get into that wheelbarrow?"
Though at times I may doubt and my faith may waver, my trust in the Lord remains. I am still willing to get into the wheelbarrow. My trust is what keeps me moving forward.
Thursday, June 15, 2017
Grounded and Connected
June 15, 2017
Day 163: Freed From Sin and Bad Choices:
"Because you belong to him, the power of the life-giving Spirit has freed you from the power of sin that leads to death." —Romans 8:2
Anderson's lesson today focuses on sin and the fact that we can be freed from it if we would only turn to Jesus. It is the same lesson I've heard for many years. While reading what he had to say about the mistakes that people make, and continue to make, and how if we would only stop making those mistakes, I just kept thinking, "Why, on God's green earth, does there always need to be a discussion of sin?" I know we sin. Everyone sins; everyone makes mistakes. We know this! Whenever there is a focus on God, there is always a focus on sin and how Adam and Eve's choice to be defiant doomed us all from the beginning until the coming of Christ who saves us from ourselves and our sinful nature. ARG!
I think what I find so distasteful about these discussions is that it makes me feel worthless. There is nothing redeeming about me, about us. We are creatures of wrath who are only saved by the grace of God through the sacrifice of Jesus. True as it may be, do we need to rehash that endlessly? Instead of being partners with God and Jesus, creators in our own right, inventors, and crafters of our world, we are reduced to destructive beings who lack control, destroyers of the bond we could have had with God, ruinous and vile creatures who God can only look on if we are covered in the blood of his sacred Son.
Perhaps I am missing something. Perhaps when I was baptized, I was not washed as clean as snow. Why should I still feel so unworthy? Why should a scripture like today's bother me and remind me that I am indeed worthy of death without Christ? Why would God create us just to condemn us in the end if we don't do just as He says? It contradicts all that I know of what it means to love. It would seem that Christianity, as it is so often presented, is based on fear. Fear of what will happen if we sin (miss the mark), if we don't know Jesus, if we fail some test of faith, if we wander a path that other Christians deem unsuitable, if we question and doubt, if we rebel, if we lose hope... Fear.
I wish I could change this view, wipe it out forever. When will I be able to approach the thrown of God with complete confidence? I think I know the answer to that, but it contradicts all that I have been told of what it means to be a Christian and to know God. Here is what I believe it will take:
I need to stop reading the Bible as if it is the answer to everything. As if is the very word of God, inerrant and perfect. There, I said it. And you know what I feel? Relief, yet still a small twinge of fear. What if I am wrong? I just know that when I have gone to God directly, when I have approached Him as a child approaches a loving parent, trusting and believing that He will listen without expectation of perfection, I have felt closer to Him than at any other time. I have felt loved and worthy of His time as if He truly cared about what I had to say. I have felt connected to Him, a part of Him. That is how I want to feel everyday. Grounded and connected.
Day 163: Freed From Sin and Bad Choices:
"Because you belong to him, the power of the life-giving Spirit has freed you from the power of sin that leads to death." —Romans 8:2
Anderson's lesson today focuses on sin and the fact that we can be freed from it if we would only turn to Jesus. It is the same lesson I've heard for many years. While reading what he had to say about the mistakes that people make, and continue to make, and how if we would only stop making those mistakes, I just kept thinking, "Why, on God's green earth, does there always need to be a discussion of sin?" I know we sin. Everyone sins; everyone makes mistakes. We know this! Whenever there is a focus on God, there is always a focus on sin and how Adam and Eve's choice to be defiant doomed us all from the beginning until the coming of Christ who saves us from ourselves and our sinful nature. ARG!
I think what I find so distasteful about these discussions is that it makes me feel worthless. There is nothing redeeming about me, about us. We are creatures of wrath who are only saved by the grace of God through the sacrifice of Jesus. True as it may be, do we need to rehash that endlessly? Instead of being partners with God and Jesus, creators in our own right, inventors, and crafters of our world, we are reduced to destructive beings who lack control, destroyers of the bond we could have had with God, ruinous and vile creatures who God can only look on if we are covered in the blood of his sacred Son.
Perhaps I am missing something. Perhaps when I was baptized, I was not washed as clean as snow. Why should I still feel so unworthy? Why should a scripture like today's bother me and remind me that I am indeed worthy of death without Christ? Why would God create us just to condemn us in the end if we don't do just as He says? It contradicts all that I know of what it means to love. It would seem that Christianity, as it is so often presented, is based on fear. Fear of what will happen if we sin (miss the mark), if we don't know Jesus, if we fail some test of faith, if we wander a path that other Christians deem unsuitable, if we question and doubt, if we rebel, if we lose hope... Fear.
I wish I could change this view, wipe it out forever. When will I be able to approach the thrown of God with complete confidence? I think I know the answer to that, but it contradicts all that I have been told of what it means to be a Christian and to know God. Here is what I believe it will take:
I need to stop reading the Bible as if it is the answer to everything. As if is the very word of God, inerrant and perfect. There, I said it. And you know what I feel? Relief, yet still a small twinge of fear. What if I am wrong? I just know that when I have gone to God directly, when I have approached Him as a child approaches a loving parent, trusting and believing that He will listen without expectation of perfection, I have felt closer to Him than at any other time. I have felt loved and worthy of His time as if He truly cared about what I had to say. I have felt connected to Him, a part of Him. That is how I want to feel everyday. Grounded and connected.
Wednesday, June 14, 2017
If Only...
June 14, 2017
Day 162: The Source Of Healing:
"Moses made a snake out of bronze and attached it to a pole. Then anyone who was bitten by a snake could look at the bronze snake and be healed." —Numbers 21:9
You know, I read something like that and I think, "If one can believe that, then what is so far fetched about believing in Native American or Greek/Roman myths. Why is the Bible the end all and be all of spiritual knowledge and guidance?
All of that said, it has little to do with Anderson's point for the day which is basically that in America we have lost touch with the source of healing (God) and have focused on the symbols (doctors, medical practices, etc.). "In America, many of our hospitals were founded by Jewish or Christian organizations. When they first started, they looked to God as the source of healing. But over the years, many of our most prestigious medical schools and hospitals have lost much of their faith-filled roots." He finds that to be "unfortunate for the patients who are there because medical science works best in conjunction with God's healing." He even alludes to research that has been done to "support the conclusion that prayer and faith have a positive effect on physical health and well being. These studies suggest that the disciplines of our faith should be a part of our modern medical treatment plan."
I can see his point. Having faith and believing affects one's attitude in a positive way and no one can really argue with the power of positive thinking. Whether that can be attributed to faith in God, or faith in the universe, or some higher power, there is an undeniable positive effect in maintaining hope, having faith, being grateful for what you have and believing you will receive what you are hoping for.
Now if we would only apply that power to our lives consistently without doubt or fear or whatever else it is that holds us back. If only...
Day 162: The Source Of Healing:
"Moses made a snake out of bronze and attached it to a pole. Then anyone who was bitten by a snake could look at the bronze snake and be healed." —Numbers 21:9
You know, I read something like that and I think, "If one can believe that, then what is so far fetched about believing in Native American or Greek/Roman myths. Why is the Bible the end all and be all of spiritual knowledge and guidance?
All of that said, it has little to do with Anderson's point for the day which is basically that in America we have lost touch with the source of healing (God) and have focused on the symbols (doctors, medical practices, etc.). "In America, many of our hospitals were founded by Jewish or Christian organizations. When they first started, they looked to God as the source of healing. But over the years, many of our most prestigious medical schools and hospitals have lost much of their faith-filled roots." He finds that to be "unfortunate for the patients who are there because medical science works best in conjunction with God's healing." He even alludes to research that has been done to "support the conclusion that prayer and faith have a positive effect on physical health and well being. These studies suggest that the disciplines of our faith should be a part of our modern medical treatment plan."
I can see his point. Having faith and believing affects one's attitude in a positive way and no one can really argue with the power of positive thinking. Whether that can be attributed to faith in God, or faith in the universe, or some higher power, there is an undeniable positive effect in maintaining hope, having faith, being grateful for what you have and believing you will receive what you are hoping for.
Now if we would only apply that power to our lives consistently without doubt or fear or whatever else it is that holds us back. If only...
Tuesday, June 13, 2017
It's The Journey
July 13, 2017
Day 159: Last Breath:
"I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, and I have remained faithful. And now the prize awaits me—the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will give me on the day of his return. And the prize is not just for me but for all who eagerly look forward to his appearing." —2 Timothy 4:7-8
While reading this scripture I thought, "I don't need a crown of righteousness or a prize." I just want to do what is good and loving in this world while I am here. This scripture, or perhaps it's just this day, makes me feel tired. I do not feel all that "eager" and I am tired of trying to live up to some ideal of what it means to be a righteous Christian. It makes me tired to my bones some days. I just want to love others, accept others, support others, be there as a friend and partner. I don't need to be right or righteous. The word righteous used to be special to me, but now when I hear it, I think of being self-righteous, pig headed, stubborn, unwilling to listen to another's side...all because one thinks they are right and are following God's will.
Day 160: Laughing The Last And Best:
"When Jesus arrived at the official's home, he saw the noisy crowd and heard the funeral music. "Get out!" he told them. "The girl isn't dead; she's only asleep." But the crowd laughed at him."
—Matthew 9:23-34
Anderson's wise words for today: "If someone tells you that your faith doesn't change things or that praying for healing is a wast of time, don't stop believing or praying. It won't be the first time that doubters laughed and were proved wrong."
Day 161: God Of The Impossible:
"Is anything too hard for the Lord? I will return about this time next year, and Sarah will have a son."
—Genesis 18:14
I truly do believe that nothing is impossible for God, as Anderson points out in today's lesson of a woman who was literally on her death bed and yet recovered to join her family at her son's wedding, even walking him down the aisle. I know that God can do amazing things. Whether it is His plan or not is another story. I will most likely always have a hard time with that. He can, but will He?
The part that I am working on is being okay with the answers God gives and not doubting his love just because it was an answer that I either found unfavorable or was not expecting. Bottom line, I am working on being grateful for whatever comes my way. Do I succeed everyday? No, but I am willing to keep trying.
Day 159: Last Breath:
"I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, and I have remained faithful. And now the prize awaits me—the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will give me on the day of his return. And the prize is not just for me but for all who eagerly look forward to his appearing." —2 Timothy 4:7-8
While reading this scripture I thought, "I don't need a crown of righteousness or a prize." I just want to do what is good and loving in this world while I am here. This scripture, or perhaps it's just this day, makes me feel tired. I do not feel all that "eager" and I am tired of trying to live up to some ideal of what it means to be a righteous Christian. It makes me tired to my bones some days. I just want to love others, accept others, support others, be there as a friend and partner. I don't need to be right or righteous. The word righteous used to be special to me, but now when I hear it, I think of being self-righteous, pig headed, stubborn, unwilling to listen to another's side...all because one thinks they are right and are following God's will.
Day 160: Laughing The Last And Best:
"When Jesus arrived at the official's home, he saw the noisy crowd and heard the funeral music. "Get out!" he told them. "The girl isn't dead; she's only asleep." But the crowd laughed at him."
—Matthew 9:23-34
Anderson's wise words for today: "If someone tells you that your faith doesn't change things or that praying for healing is a wast of time, don't stop believing or praying. It won't be the first time that doubters laughed and were proved wrong."
Day 161: God Of The Impossible:
"Is anything too hard for the Lord? I will return about this time next year, and Sarah will have a son."
—Genesis 18:14
I truly do believe that nothing is impossible for God, as Anderson points out in today's lesson of a woman who was literally on her death bed and yet recovered to join her family at her son's wedding, even walking him down the aisle. I know that God can do amazing things. Whether it is His plan or not is another story. I will most likely always have a hard time with that. He can, but will He?
The part that I am working on is being okay with the answers God gives and not doubting his love just because it was an answer that I either found unfavorable or was not expecting. Bottom line, I am working on being grateful for whatever comes my way. Do I succeed everyday? No, but I am willing to keep trying.
Saturday, June 10, 2017
Conflicting Feelings
June 10, 2017
Day 157: Release From Captivity:
"You are free from your slavery to sin, and you have become slaves to righteous living."
—Romans 6:18
I don't think Anderson's title really captures what is happening in this scripture. Release from captivity, but captured again by something else. Albeit, righteousness, but it's still captivity. It's still enslavement. I think it's great and all, but it (meaning righteous living) can be interpreted in such a way as to be alienating, intolerant, unloving, unaccepting and unjust to others who do not have the same view of what it means to live righteously. My brother believes to live righteously he must not support my son in his transition. He must continue to call my son my daughter and use feminine pronouns although I have tried to make him aware of the emotional and psychological damage that it can cause my son. But, my brother is set on doing what he believes is right in God's eyes.
So yeah, there's that.
Day 158: The Rule For A Long Life:
"You must serve only the Lord your God. If you do, I will bless you with food and water, and I will protect from illness...and I will give you long, full lives." —Exodus 23:26
You can just hear the other side of this: And if you don't, I will ________. I came to Anderson's text this afternoon in the hope of being encouraged by the scriptures, but instead I feel that the thoughts I was having on my bike ride this morning are being confirmed. I was thinking about my entry a few days ago and how I said that deep down I believe God's promise is enough. I still believe that it is, but I have this nagging thought that all of God's promises come with having to fulfill a condition. If you ______, I will _______. Nothing is given freely. I suppose that fits with how society works. Nothing is free. Still, I feel that in order to receive God's love and blessings, there are conditions that first need to be fulfilled. To me it contradicts the notion of unconditional love. I think if it was 10 years ago, I would have looked at this scripture very differently. I would have probably found comfort in it.
I can see both sides. After all, why should anyone, God or otherwise, want to bless a person who does not show concern or even acknowledge them? Why should God bless and meet the needs of people who ignore Him or stand in opposition to Him? I suppose I feel that God should be above the fray. My child does not have to listen to me and follow everything I say in order to receive love, acceptance, and have his basic needs met. Which is why scriptures like this one do not sit well with me anymore. I can hear man behind these words, not Divinity.
Day 157: Release From Captivity:
"You are free from your slavery to sin, and you have become slaves to righteous living."
—Romans 6:18
I don't think Anderson's title really captures what is happening in this scripture. Release from captivity, but captured again by something else. Albeit, righteousness, but it's still captivity. It's still enslavement. I think it's great and all, but it (meaning righteous living) can be interpreted in such a way as to be alienating, intolerant, unloving, unaccepting and unjust to others who do not have the same view of what it means to live righteously. My brother believes to live righteously he must not support my son in his transition. He must continue to call my son my daughter and use feminine pronouns although I have tried to make him aware of the emotional and psychological damage that it can cause my son. But, my brother is set on doing what he believes is right in God's eyes.
So yeah, there's that.
Day 158: The Rule For A Long Life:
"You must serve only the Lord your God. If you do, I will bless you with food and water, and I will protect from illness...and I will give you long, full lives." —Exodus 23:26
You can just hear the other side of this: And if you don't, I will ________. I came to Anderson's text this afternoon in the hope of being encouraged by the scriptures, but instead I feel that the thoughts I was having on my bike ride this morning are being confirmed. I was thinking about my entry a few days ago and how I said that deep down I believe God's promise is enough. I still believe that it is, but I have this nagging thought that all of God's promises come with having to fulfill a condition. If you ______, I will _______. Nothing is given freely. I suppose that fits with how society works. Nothing is free. Still, I feel that in order to receive God's love and blessings, there are conditions that first need to be fulfilled. To me it contradicts the notion of unconditional love. I think if it was 10 years ago, I would have looked at this scripture very differently. I would have probably found comfort in it.
I can see both sides. After all, why should anyone, God or otherwise, want to bless a person who does not show concern or even acknowledge them? Why should God bless and meet the needs of people who ignore Him or stand in opposition to Him? I suppose I feel that God should be above the fray. My child does not have to listen to me and follow everything I say in order to receive love, acceptance, and have his basic needs met. Which is why scriptures like this one do not sit well with me anymore. I can hear man behind these words, not Divinity.
Thursday, June 8, 2017
God's Promise
June 8, 2017
Day 154: God's Diet:
"By these instructions you will know what it is unclean and clean, and which animals may be eaten and which may not be eaten." —Leviticus 11:47
Let me just say I am glad that we do not have to really concern ourselves with "clean and unclean" animals anymore. All the rules that were previously imposed upon us have changed. Anderson says that at the time that these laws were in effect, there was good reason for them. "During that time in history, many of the restricted foods had significant health risks associated with them." Pork carried trichinosis and the cooking practices were not what they are today. "We no longer worry about these dangers because our cooking practices have changed. We use thermometers to test the temperature of meat to make sure it is thoroughly cooked." The point that Anderson really desires to make in today's lesson is that God promises to care for his children if they follow his laws.
Day 155: Amazing Faith:
"When Jesus heart this, he was amazed. Turning to the crowd that was following him, he said, "I tell you, I haven't seen faith like this in all Israel!" And when the officer's friends returned to his house, they found the slave completely healed." —Luke 7:9-10
Although Anderson means for today's lesson to be deeply encouraging, I can see how someone may not find comfort in it. He explains a bit of the context of the scripture citing that Jesus was amazed by the faith of the Roman soldier who stepped out of the hierarchy of the day and trusted Jesus, a Jewish man, to heal the slave. It was uncommon and even dangerous for a Roman soldier to seek the help of a Jewish person. "For a Gentile with a high-level military position, this action could have cost him his job—or worse." Anderson tells us to have the faith of the Roman soldier and believe that Jesus "needs only to speak a word in order for [us] to be healed." Here is where I think someone may feel a little discouraged. What happens when Jesus does not speak that "word?" I can tell you what will most likely happen; the person seeking healing will feel discouraged that Jesus is not responding and/or the person will beat themselves up thinking that they must not have enough faith to incite a response. Neither is encouraging.
Day 156: Losing Everything But A Promise:
"As for me, I look to the Lord for help. I wait confidently for God to save me, and my God will certainly hear me. do not gloat over me, my enemies! For though I fall, I will rise again. Though I sit in darkness, the Lord will be my light." —Micah 7:7-8
I've got to be honest, when I first read the title for day 156, I was not encouraged. I have quite a bit of my life that is up in the air right now and the thought of losing everything (but a promise) does not fill me with confidence and joy. However, Anderson's story is heartwarming and encouraging. A woman named Loretta had lost her husband and became very depressed. The once beautiful and vibrant woman wasted away physically, mentally, and emotionally. When she fell and broke her hip, Dr. Anderson feared that she wouldn't have "the emotional and mental fortitude" required to come back from such a fall. During the most "acute phase," Anderson prayed with her, and though she did not immediately snap out of her depression, she made it through the surgery and it wasn't long before she was being praised by her physical therapist for her progress. "Three months later, she was back on her feet, and her smile was as radiant as ever." When Dr. Anderson told her that he was proud of her, she said, "I lost everything, except for the promise that God would save me."
I suppose, in the end, that is all we have: God's promise. Deep in my heart...that is enough.
Day 154: God's Diet:
"By these instructions you will know what it is unclean and clean, and which animals may be eaten and which may not be eaten." —Leviticus 11:47
Let me just say I am glad that we do not have to really concern ourselves with "clean and unclean" animals anymore. All the rules that were previously imposed upon us have changed. Anderson says that at the time that these laws were in effect, there was good reason for them. "During that time in history, many of the restricted foods had significant health risks associated with them." Pork carried trichinosis and the cooking practices were not what they are today. "We no longer worry about these dangers because our cooking practices have changed. We use thermometers to test the temperature of meat to make sure it is thoroughly cooked." The point that Anderson really desires to make in today's lesson is that God promises to care for his children if they follow his laws.
Day 155: Amazing Faith:
"When Jesus heart this, he was amazed. Turning to the crowd that was following him, he said, "I tell you, I haven't seen faith like this in all Israel!" And when the officer's friends returned to his house, they found the slave completely healed." —Luke 7:9-10
Although Anderson means for today's lesson to be deeply encouraging, I can see how someone may not find comfort in it. He explains a bit of the context of the scripture citing that Jesus was amazed by the faith of the Roman soldier who stepped out of the hierarchy of the day and trusted Jesus, a Jewish man, to heal the slave. It was uncommon and even dangerous for a Roman soldier to seek the help of a Jewish person. "For a Gentile with a high-level military position, this action could have cost him his job—or worse." Anderson tells us to have the faith of the Roman soldier and believe that Jesus "needs only to speak a word in order for [us] to be healed." Here is where I think someone may feel a little discouraged. What happens when Jesus does not speak that "word?" I can tell you what will most likely happen; the person seeking healing will feel discouraged that Jesus is not responding and/or the person will beat themselves up thinking that they must not have enough faith to incite a response. Neither is encouraging.
Day 156: Losing Everything But A Promise:
"As for me, I look to the Lord for help. I wait confidently for God to save me, and my God will certainly hear me. do not gloat over me, my enemies! For though I fall, I will rise again. Though I sit in darkness, the Lord will be my light." —Micah 7:7-8
I've got to be honest, when I first read the title for day 156, I was not encouraged. I have quite a bit of my life that is up in the air right now and the thought of losing everything (but a promise) does not fill me with confidence and joy. However, Anderson's story is heartwarming and encouraging. A woman named Loretta had lost her husband and became very depressed. The once beautiful and vibrant woman wasted away physically, mentally, and emotionally. When she fell and broke her hip, Dr. Anderson feared that she wouldn't have "the emotional and mental fortitude" required to come back from such a fall. During the most "acute phase," Anderson prayed with her, and though she did not immediately snap out of her depression, she made it through the surgery and it wasn't long before she was being praised by her physical therapist for her progress. "Three months later, she was back on her feet, and her smile was as radiant as ever." When Dr. Anderson told her that he was proud of her, she said, "I lost everything, except for the promise that God would save me."
I suppose, in the end, that is all we have: God's promise. Deep in my heart...that is enough.
Monday, June 5, 2017
And So We Beat On...
June 5, 2017
Day 150: I Was Blind, But Now I See:
"They went right into the house where he was staying, and Jesus asked them, "Do you believe I can make you see?" "Yes, Lord," they told him, "we do." Then he touched their eyes and said, "Because of your faith, it will happen." —Matthew 9:28-29
In day 150's lesson, Anderson suggests that we "Ask Jesus to open [our] eyes and give [us] a vision for what he has planned for [our lives]. I feel as if whenever I've done that, I have mistaken the plan. I have read more into it than what was there or was completely wrong about what God possibly had in mind. So, I don't know. Perhaps it's better to just wait and watch God work, lay our requests before Him and be confident that He always has our best interest at heart, whatever the answer may be.
Day 151: Secret Past:
"It was our weakness he carried; it was our sorrows that weighed him down. And we thought his troubles were a punishment from God, a punishment for his own sins!" —Isaiah 53:4
I appreciate Anderson's lesson regarding secret pasts. We don't know what someone else is dealing with, what demons they face. It is always best to approach people with compassion rather than judgement. I think we all make judgements about people, snap judgements, judgements due to our personal experiences with them and others like them, but it's important to remember that everyone has a story to tell and we do not always know what that story is, even if we think we do.
Day 152: Trusting Through The Storms:
"Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you." —1 Peter 5:7
Trusting through the storms of life can be difficult, but it can also be freeing. I have been in my fair share of storms. I am currently in one. It's been brewing for awhile and it just came to a head today. I had to tell my brother point blank that he can't be around my son and use feminine pronouns. It is psychologically damaging to my kid and I can't have it. All my brother said was Ok. I'm still uncertain what that Ok means, but I assume, based of our previous conversations, it means that he just won't be visiting us when we move to Canada. I am fine with that. It's not my preference, but I will not have anyone insensitively causing my kid pain or harm because of a personal conviction they have. He can hold his convictions as tightly as he wishes and chose them over loving and respecting my son, but he can't hold them over us and expect us to endure. I just can't. Though I love my brother and want him to be a part of my family's lives, my child is my world. God has given him to me to love and protect and that is exactly what I plan to do until the day I no longer breathe.
Day 153: An Encouraging Word Calms The Soul:
"Don't use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them." —Ephesians 4:29
This scripture is a good one to remember, especially in light of all that has been happening in our country and even in my personal life as of late. It can be hard to be encouraging when you, yourself, feel so discouraged by the behavior of people, the things they say and do. I don't always succeed, but I try to see things from other people's points of view. I try to understand them, their reasoning and their perspective and not simply descend into a profuse string of profanity to soothe myself. The release that profanity provides is short lived and at some point, you still need to come back to logic and reason, sympathy and compassion.
"And so we beat on, boats against the current..."
Day 150: I Was Blind, But Now I See:
"They went right into the house where he was staying, and Jesus asked them, "Do you believe I can make you see?" "Yes, Lord," they told him, "we do." Then he touched their eyes and said, "Because of your faith, it will happen." —Matthew 9:28-29
In day 150's lesson, Anderson suggests that we "Ask Jesus to open [our] eyes and give [us] a vision for what he has planned for [our lives]. I feel as if whenever I've done that, I have mistaken the plan. I have read more into it than what was there or was completely wrong about what God possibly had in mind. So, I don't know. Perhaps it's better to just wait and watch God work, lay our requests before Him and be confident that He always has our best interest at heart, whatever the answer may be.
Day 151: Secret Past:
"It was our weakness he carried; it was our sorrows that weighed him down. And we thought his troubles were a punishment from God, a punishment for his own sins!" —Isaiah 53:4
I appreciate Anderson's lesson regarding secret pasts. We don't know what someone else is dealing with, what demons they face. It is always best to approach people with compassion rather than judgement. I think we all make judgements about people, snap judgements, judgements due to our personal experiences with them and others like them, but it's important to remember that everyone has a story to tell and we do not always know what that story is, even if we think we do.
Day 152: Trusting Through The Storms:
"Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you." —1 Peter 5:7
Trusting through the storms of life can be difficult, but it can also be freeing. I have been in my fair share of storms. I am currently in one. It's been brewing for awhile and it just came to a head today. I had to tell my brother point blank that he can't be around my son and use feminine pronouns. It is psychologically damaging to my kid and I can't have it. All my brother said was Ok. I'm still uncertain what that Ok means, but I assume, based of our previous conversations, it means that he just won't be visiting us when we move to Canada. I am fine with that. It's not my preference, but I will not have anyone insensitively causing my kid pain or harm because of a personal conviction they have. He can hold his convictions as tightly as he wishes and chose them over loving and respecting my son, but he can't hold them over us and expect us to endure. I just can't. Though I love my brother and want him to be a part of my family's lives, my child is my world. God has given him to me to love and protect and that is exactly what I plan to do until the day I no longer breathe.
Day 153: An Encouraging Word Calms The Soul:
"Don't use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them." —Ephesians 4:29
This scripture is a good one to remember, especially in light of all that has been happening in our country and even in my personal life as of late. It can be hard to be encouraging when you, yourself, feel so discouraged by the behavior of people, the things they say and do. I don't always succeed, but I try to see things from other people's points of view. I try to understand them, their reasoning and their perspective and not simply descend into a profuse string of profanity to soothe myself. The release that profanity provides is short lived and at some point, you still need to come back to logic and reason, sympathy and compassion.
"And so we beat on, boats against the current..."
Thursday, June 1, 2017
Letting Go
July 1, 2017
Day 147: Ask In His Name:
"This same God who takes care of me will supply all your needs from his glorious riches, which have been given to us in Christ Jesus. —Philippians 4:19
In today's lesson Anderson encourages us to not be "afraid to ask Jesus for what [we] need. He promises to 'supply all your needs from his glorious riches.'" I wouldn't say that I am afraid to ask for what I need, or what I believe I need. As I have already mentioned multiple times, my reservation comes in when I feel as if whatever I pray doesn't really matter because God is going to do what He is going to do. That feeling persists even now, but I try to fight it off.
Day 148: Vacationing With God:
"This good news—that God has prepared this rest—has been announced to us just as it was them. But it did them no good because they didn't share the faith of those who listened to God." —Hebrews 4:2
This entry comes at a good time since I am currently on vacation at our Timeshare in Scottsdale. Anderson asks us to think about the fact that God has "invited us to rest with him. The creator of the universe had a vacation planned, and he created us just in time to share that vacation day with him. What's more, he invites us into that peaceful garden of rest every seven days." I personally have a difficult time just resting. I have gotten better at it since I have stopped teaching, but I still feel best when I am being productive and accomplishing tasks.
Day 149: Confession Is Good For The Soul:
"If I had not confessed the sin in my heart, the Lord would not have listened." —Psalm 66:18
I use to be a devout believer in the power of confession. I felt it was deeply healing, but I am more reserved about it now. Anderson suggests that we find a trusted friend, family member, or spiritual leader and confess anything that is holding [us] back from the life that God desires for [us]." I am much more wary of confession now than I used to be. Experiences I have had in my former church have tainted my view of "trusting spiritual leaders and friends." I still confess to God and to a few people in my life, but I am not as trusting as I used to be of people just because they may be spiritual leaders. Sometimes it makes me sad to remember how trusting I was and to know that I no longer am, and most likely never will be again. I suppose that comes with experience and a loss of innocence. You can never really go back. But, that's okay. I am becoming more comfortable letting go and embracing what is new.
Day 147: Ask In His Name:
"This same God who takes care of me will supply all your needs from his glorious riches, which have been given to us in Christ Jesus. —Philippians 4:19
In today's lesson Anderson encourages us to not be "afraid to ask Jesus for what [we] need. He promises to 'supply all your needs from his glorious riches.'" I wouldn't say that I am afraid to ask for what I need, or what I believe I need. As I have already mentioned multiple times, my reservation comes in when I feel as if whatever I pray doesn't really matter because God is going to do what He is going to do. That feeling persists even now, but I try to fight it off.
Day 148: Vacationing With God:
"This good news—that God has prepared this rest—has been announced to us just as it was them. But it did them no good because they didn't share the faith of those who listened to God." —Hebrews 4:2
This entry comes at a good time since I am currently on vacation at our Timeshare in Scottsdale. Anderson asks us to think about the fact that God has "invited us to rest with him. The creator of the universe had a vacation planned, and he created us just in time to share that vacation day with him. What's more, he invites us into that peaceful garden of rest every seven days." I personally have a difficult time just resting. I have gotten better at it since I have stopped teaching, but I still feel best when I am being productive and accomplishing tasks.
Day 149: Confession Is Good For The Soul:
"If I had not confessed the sin in my heart, the Lord would not have listened." —Psalm 66:18
I use to be a devout believer in the power of confession. I felt it was deeply healing, but I am more reserved about it now. Anderson suggests that we find a trusted friend, family member, or spiritual leader and confess anything that is holding [us] back from the life that God desires for [us]." I am much more wary of confession now than I used to be. Experiences I have had in my former church have tainted my view of "trusting spiritual leaders and friends." I still confess to God and to a few people in my life, but I am not as trusting as I used to be of people just because they may be spiritual leaders. Sometimes it makes me sad to remember how trusting I was and to know that I no longer am, and most likely never will be again. I suppose that comes with experience and a loss of innocence. You can never really go back. But, that's okay. I am becoming more comfortable letting go and embracing what is new.
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