The Storm Within

April 15, 2017

Day 105: Familial Blessings:
"I will pour out my Spirit on your descendants, and my blessing on your children. They will thrive like watered grass, like willows on a riverbank." —Isaiah 44:3-4

"A family with good health habits flourishes and stays healthy for generations. What we proactively decide to do today can help our descendants to thrive," says Dr. Anderson.  Makes perfect sense. I don't know why I would expect an American doctor to be able to address all of the issues of the world in his book.  As I was reading I was thinking, what about all those people who do not have a choice as to what their family will eat or even if they will eat at all? Does God not bless them?

In today's lesson Anderson shares about a family that he has worked with for generations. They have always been in excellent health because they don't smoke or drink and they eat fruits and vegetables that they grow themselves. They all eat dinner together and pray before they eat. They also never miss church.  Well, howdy do. I don't know why I am bothered by the perspective that if you are one of the lucky ones who live in a country where you are free and surrounded by abundance that somehow God has blessed you while seemingly ignoring the rest of the world. I know that is not what Anderson is saying, but most of his lessons focus on the privileged people of America. I wish he would branch out and consider other less fortunate people's circumstances and how God works in those situations too.

He's a small town doctor, I get that, but can't he see beyond his sphere? His audience is American, I get that too, but that's exactly why we need a "book of healing" that considers people beyond our borders. I know he is writing from his own experiences, but that's just it.  As Americans we are so narrow minded, so entrenched in our own little world.  Myself included.  This year's election has created a storm in my heart. The world I thought I lived in has been turned upside down and my eyes have been opened. I thought my friends generally lived as I have lived. So naive! I thought they experienced the same chances, the same level of respect, the same ability to move freely and without concern for safety or acceptance.  It's a lie! They don't and it sickens me.  Anderson's lesson today stirred the storm in my heart as I pictured this perfect white, cis family, working their field, harvesting their fruits and vegetables, sitting around the table together wrapped in the warmth and safety of their love and their white privilege. Praying to God and receiving immense blessings of health and happiness and it just bothered me. He is writing for white people. Are there not other races who need healing?

Uh...it just irks me!  He has a great opportunity as a published author to open our eyes to the way God works in all people's lives. Guaranteed, I have not completed his book yet, but I have a pretty good idea that he will continue this pattern. He writes for a cis, white world.  I can only imagine how people of color and the LGBTQ community feel walking into a bookstore hoping to find a text that speaks to them specifically instead of having to find something that sort of relates to them if they look at it sideways. My son has expressed his disappointment at not finding books that relate to his experience as a transgender person.

I had hoped that what Obama was doing with our country would continue and that the LGBTQ community and people of color would finally get a seat at the table and have their voices heard. I know that they have not given up. I just hate that it is even still an issue.  Why is this still an issue!?
They are American!

It's like Langston Hughes said:

I, too, sing America.
I am the darker brother.
They send me to eat in the kitchen
When company comes,
But I laugh,
And eat well,
And grow strong.

Tomorrow,
I'll be at the table
When company comes.
Nobody'll dare
Say to me,
"Eat in the kitchen,"
Then.

Besides,
They'll see how beautiful I am
And be ashamed—

I too, am America.


He was right, I am ashamed. I see how beautiful all of my friends are. It stirs the storm within me. The rain falls, the winds rage, and I want to crash against these ridiculous, pitiful walls that white people have built. Smash them to oblivion, crumble them to the ground. They are nothing; they are dust...

So I stand here
On the edge
In my white privilege
And look out on the world And wonder
What am I gonna do
In the face of what
I know and remember
.