In All Sincerity

May 29, 2017

Day 145: Miracles of Faith:
"Jesus turned around, and when he saw her he said,"Daughter, be encouraged! Your faith has made you well." And the woman was healed at that moment." —Matthew 9:22

Anderson makes an excellent point in today's lesson in which he shares a story about a woman who came into the emergency room experiencing an abnormally rapid heartbeat. The only way to treat the problem was to administer medicine that would stop her heart in the hope that it would reset itself. The woman was obviously concerned about whether her heart would restart itself (so was Anderson, but he had to reflect confidence). He explained, "God designed your heart with a reset button, kind of like your computer. You may feel a little funny when your heart stops, but if you trust the knowledge he has given us, soon your heart will be back in rhythm."  The treatment worked as Anderson expected it to, but when he thinks back to that day he realizes "that the patient had tremendous faith in [him] and in the science of medicine—and that [faith] allowed [them] to treat her and heal her." He believes that "Every day, God asks us to place our trust in him and allow him to do what he knows is best so we can be healed."  However, how often do we question God's plan? "How often do we choose to put our faith and trust in something else?"

Anderson's questions are something I think about frequently.  I question God's plan all the time and then question my questioning.  I try to guess what God has planned in situations, especially when the situation is painful or seemingly unnecessary. I try to trust and believe that He will work all things out for the good, but I still question and second guess.


Day 146: Renewed Attitude:
"Throw off your old sinful nature and your former way of life...Instead, let the Spirit renew your thoughts and attitudes." —Ephesians 4:22-23

I have experienced a shift in attitude several times in my life and it has always been refreshing, especially when it has been inspired by the Spirit. At the start of this year, as I was just beginning this blog, I was in desperate need of a renewal of thoughts and attitudes. I felt my faith slipping away and I was afraid I would lose it completely. I cried out to God without reservation and without promises. I just wanted to know Him for myself, to understand Him and His plan. I wanted to trust Him and believe that He had all of our best interests in mind (mine, my family's, my friends' and my country's). I am still working on trusting without doubting and questioning, but I believe the struggles I face as I go through this process is something that God expects and honors if we come to Him with a sincere heart.

To Thine Own Self Be True

May 27, 2017

Day 137: The Enemy Is Cancer:
"The eternal God is your refuge, and his everlasting arms are under you. He drives out the enemy before you; he cries out, "Destroy them!" —Deuteronomy 33:27

A title I can agree with: Cancer IS the enemy.  Cancer took my mother long before her time.  As I say that and even believe it, perhaps it was her time. Who am I to really say when it's someone's time to pass?  There are many sayings like that; we say them as a way of comforting ourselves or as a way of making sense of seemingly senseless situations.  God is supposed to know the number of our days and we will get no more and no less than what He has decided.  Even that is something we just say...

Anderson's anecdote today is about a man named Bryant who had leukemia. It's another case of Anderson espousing the power of prayer.  I sound as if I do not believe in its power, but I do. After much prayer, Bryant's leukemia went into remission.  Anderson ends by saying that "God hears our prayers, and he desires to drive out our enemies, even if they are unseen rogue cancer cells. Prayer can be the weapon that fights even the worst diagnosis. Remember, with God all things are possible—even driving out cancer."

I find it interesting. Well, perhaps interesting is not the word. For the lack of a better word, I find it interesting how I can hold two contradictory beliefs as equally true. I know that prayer is powerful. I believe in its power, but I also believe it can have little effect (especially if what you are praying for is not God's will). Why is it so hard to erase the idea that God will do what God will do regardless of how much prayer is lifted up to Him?  I wish I had the unshakable faith that I used to have.


Day 138: Healing Outside The Box:
"When Jesus returned to Capernaum, a Roman officer came and pleaded with him, 'Lord, my young servant lies in bed, paralyzed and in terrible pain,' Jesus said, 'I will come and heal him.'"
—Matthew 8:5-7

I like what Anderson has to say today regarding finding healing outside the box.  He explains that at the beginning of his practice he had some difficulty trusting and believing in alternative medicine offered by chiropractors and acupuncturists. He said he had to witness their healing powers before he felt comfortable accepting their methods as part of his own patients' treatments. Now he is more open to collaboration with them.  What I like about what he has to say is that he admits that we need to be open to accepting help from others who may not be in our normal circle.  He says we should "challenge [ourselves to have] faith that someone outside of [our] usual circles may have something to add to [our] healing."

Day 139: Grandma's Hope, God's Miracle:
"I pray that God, the source of hope, will fill you completely with joy and peace because you trust in him. Then you will overflow with confident hope through the power of the Holy Spirit."
—Romans 15:13

The best part of what Anderson has to offer today lies in his last statement: "God is able. With him, the most difficult journey is possible."

It's these kinds of statements that I find most encouraging.  Even though it is like so many other things we "just say," I still find comfort in it.  I have no doubt that "God is able." Where I tend to doubt is when I think "Yes, but is He willing?"

Day 140: Mind Of God:
"May you have the power to understand, as all God's people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love is." —Ephesians 3:18

In today's lesson Anderson marvels over the power of our brains and imagination.  He says, "These brains of ours are such an amazing gift that I feel we have a responsibility to use them in equally amazing ways." His prayer for humanity is that "we recognize how privileged we are to have such power to think and imagine and that we would all use that power to meditate on the idea of today's verse."

Like Anderson, I believe we may never fully understand the love of God, but that should not stop us from trying.

Day 141: Relighting A Candle In The Darkness:
"He reached down from heaven and rescued me; He drew me out of the deep waters. He rescued me from the powerful enemies, from those who hated me and were too strong for me. They attacked me at the moment when I was in distress, but the Lord supported me. He led me to a place of safety; he rescued me because he delights in me." —2 Samuel 22: 17-20

I like the idea that God may delight in me.  It's nice to think about, but believing it is more difficult. It's hard to let go of the images perpetuated through years of church attendance and Puritanical depiction of humanity as creatures of wrath.  So many sermons suggesting that we are worthy of destruction, that we deserve nothing and that it is only by the grace of God and Jesus' sacrifice that we can even approach our heavenly father.  It's hard to let those images go and replace them with visions of God delighting in us.

Day 142: Gone Ahead To Our True Home:
"When you go through deep waters, I will be with you. When you go through rivers of difficulty, you will not drown. When you walk through the fire of oppression, you will not be burned up; the flames will not consume you. For I am the Lord, your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior. I gave Egypt as a ransom for your freedom; I gave Ethiopia and Seba in your place." —Isaiah 43:2-3

Anderson's anecdote for today is about a husband and wife who endured the loss of their home twice in a short amount of time and then the husband died. What I find most moving about this story is the wife's attitude.  She never despaired over the losses they experienced.  She still felt "blessed." When asked how she was doing now that her husband was gone, she replied, "He's not gone. He's just up ahead, and I know where he is. He's in heaven. And there's no doubt in my mind that he's helping Jesus prepare our forever home."

When I was writing what I find most "moving" about this story, I, at first, used the word convicting in place of moving, but I just couldn't let that word stay.  Convicting is a word that was used so often in my former church. I started to type it and realized how disturbed I was by the word.  Again, it perpetuates the idea that we are unworthy of trust and love, that we are condemned from the start, that we are doomed and guilty.  Why is that word used, except to make us feel guilty for feeling, believing, or behaving in a particular way? It's such a small thing, but it has deeply penetrated my psyche and has had damaging effects in how I view myself and how I view God.  My goal with this blog is to work through such things, to recognize them for what they are and to move past them so they no longer trigger negative feelings within myself.  To throw away such perceptions, to redefine and reshape my relationship with God...that is my ultimate goal.

Day 143:  Living In The Now But Looking Forward To The New:
"We are citizens of heaven, where the Lord Jesus Christ lives. And we are eagerly waiting for him to return as our Savior. He will take our weak mortal bodies and change them into glorious bodies like his own, using the same power with which he will bring everything under his control."
—Philippians 3: 20-21

Anderson uses a story of two young brothers who suffer with muscular dystrophy to remind us to live our lives as these brothers have: "aware of our limitations but living life fully in spite of them."  The boys had the attitude that they may be limited here on earth, but that God has plans to give them a new body. They said that they "can't wait for Jesus to give [them] new legs, so [they] can run to meet him."

I am always amazed by the spirit of children. They are so resilient and open, loving and forgiving. It's no wonder Jesus says that we need to be like little children if we want to enter the kingdom of heaven.

Day 144: Heart Health:
"Christ will make his home in your hearts as you trust in him. Your roots will grow down into God's love and keep you strong." —Ephesians 3:17

Anderson states that "our physical strength is derived from our hearts. When the heart malfunctions, everything else starts to fail. Spiritually speaking our heart is also central to our spiritual strength. If Jesus lives in our hearts, it seems that everything else—mind, body, and soul— works together in harmony. This allows our love for God, and for others, to grow rich and strong."

I have been sitting here for awhile thinking of what to say regarding today's lesson. The one thing that comes to mind is focused on the word love. Anderson says that if Jesus lives in our hearts we can experience harmony and our love for God and others can grow.  For me the problem lies in what others define as love.  Even though the bible spells it out for us, people seem to interpret the scripture differently.  1 Corinthians 13:4-8 states that "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails..."

Though it may seem clear what each of those statements mean, people have different ideas about what they look like in practice; for instance, what it means to rejoice with the truth and not delight in evil.  What is truth to one, may not be truth to another.  People believe that being transgender goes against God's will and disrupts the natural fabric of life and God's intent. For them, that is truth. So supporting such a thing is evil and unloving.  However, I believe that being unsupportive is what is unloving.  If I were to be unsupportive of my son, I would be dishonoring him, I'd be self-seeking (only concerned about what others think of me, my parenting, my spirituality), I'd be prideful. To put it simply, I'd be unloving.

Therefore, to keep my heart healthy so that I can love God and love others,  I need to practice my truth and rejoice in it. I need to protect it, trust it, put my hope in it, and persevere. If I do that, I believe that Christ will be able to make his home in my heart.

It's as Shakespeare's Polonius said, "To thine own self be true."

Be Joyful And Hopeful; Forgive, Share Your Life, And Let Go

May 15, 2017

Day 133: Spill Your Joy:
"I have told you these things so that you will be filled with my joy. Yes, your joy will overflow!"
—John 15:11

Anderson begins today's lesson by reminding us that "Jesus died on the cross to restore our broken relationship with our heavenly Father.  We no longer have to worry about whether we measure up to God's perfect laws because Jesus has supplied our righteousness."  We don't have to be concerned about anything because Jesus has already taken care of it.  "He is the eternal well of joy, and he wants us to celebrate with him, be filled with his glory, and have our joy increase."

Then he moves in to discussing how Jesus enjoyed parties "because his first miracle took place at a wedding when the hosts ran out of wine." I'm not so sure we can tell that Jesus enjoyed parties just because his first miracle took place at a wedding, but okay.  Anderson's point is that Jesus was not "as solemn and serious as we sometimes make him out to be," which I can agree with.  I think Jesus loved life and wanted others to love it too. I believe that he wanted us to overflow with joy.

Anderson believes that "as we allow [Jesus] to pour into us, our cups will continually overflow. The joy that spills out of us will flow to our neighbors and throughout our communities. Eventually, our joy will flow to the next town, the next state, and the next country, until the entire world is soaked in the joy of Jesus."

Although I appreciate the overwhelmingly positive tone, the realist, perhaps skeptic in me sees this as a romanticized view.  Do I believe that our attitudes can impact those around us? Sure. Do I believe that we can be joyful ambassadors for Christ and affect change? Absolutely. However, I am sensitive to the fact that others may not hold the same view. I think we need to be careful and respectful in how we go about "soaking the entire world in the joy of Jesus."

Day 134: Wholly Forgiven:
"Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Make allowances for each other's faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others."
—Colossians 3:12-13

This scripture fits well with day 133's lesson and my feelings about it.  We need to be tenderhearted, merciful, kind, humble, gentle, patient and forgiving, especially if we desire to soak the world in the joy of Jesus. I think too often in our efforts to spread the good news, we forget about our responsibility to be tenderhearted, merciful, patient, and most importantly gentle. Most of the trouble people have with accepting Jesus stems from their experiences with God's people. I am part of group on Facebook that was created specifically for people who have been abused and traumatized by Christian church experiences. It's deeply disturbing to me just how many people there are in this group, never mind the number of people who just haven't found such a group yet.  It's truly alarming.

Although Anderson's doesn't attempt to connect these two lessons, I believe that if we are to do as he suggests on day 133, then we need to practice today's scripture. The true point of Anderson's lesson is that we need to forgive those who hurt or offend us.  I agree that if we are unforgiving of others, we do damage to ourselves.  I actually have been questioning whether I am truly forgiving of a few people in my life.  My biological father and his wife for one and a friend of mine from my former church who was my discipler/spiritual guide. There is still a great amount of pain in my heart when I think of these people. I know that if I were asked to help any of them in any way that I would gladly do so, but I am not going out of my way to maintain a relationship with any of the them. So, is that forgiveness?  If I still feel the pain of experiences with them? If I am still guarded?  I'm not so sure. Hebrews 10:17 says, "Their sins and lawless acts I will remember no more." If I am to forgive as God forgives, then these hurts from the past should be wiped out and I should "remember [them] no more." But believe me, I remember them.  I don't know how to truly forget.

Day 135: Telling God's Story:
"I lift my eyes to you, O God, enthroned in heaven. We keep looking to the Lord our God for his mercy, just as servants keep their eyes on their master, as a slave girl watches her mistress for the slightest signal." —Psalm 123: 1-2

This particular lesson made me well up a little. Anderson shares how he was able to say goodbye to a patient he has had for over twenty-five years. He went into Coach's room to check on him because one of the nurses at the home had asked him to, and he found Coach staring "up and to the right," in what Anderson has come to call "the gaze of glory." Coach told Dr. Anderson that he was feeling really good, but that he was "getting tired of this world" and was "ready to go."  Anderson said, "If you're gazing at glory, that's good. We'll all be okay if you go on ahead. We'll be joining you soon enough." As soon as Anderson had finished speaking, "Coach's breathing changed. It wasn't much longer before [he] sensed the parting of the veil between earth and heaven, like someone opening a door on a spring day, and Coach stepped ever so gently into eternity."

I like how Anderson describes the passing of elderly people in this book.  It is so peaceful. I wish I felt that kind of peace when my mother passed away.  

Day 136: Holding Tight To Hope:
"Let us hold tightly without wavering to the hope we affirm, for God can be trusted to keep his promise." —Hebrews 10:23

The lesson shared today is about another person's passing, someone much younger, but in poor health due to an addiction to tobacco.  Before this man's passing he made it clear that he wanted CPR, but didn't want to be placed on life support. "He was content with God's timing."  The doctors and nurses tried to revive him, but CPR was unsuccessful, so after a short time they called time of death. Though this man's passing was not as serene as the previous one, Anderson still felt God's presence. He said, "As everyone else left the room, I lingered to feel God's presence. He had kept his promise to Marco to heal him for all eternity. Someday, he'll keep the same promise for us, as well."  

Though this lesson focuses on the fact that God can be trusted to keep his promises, Anderson also uses it to remind us to "record [our] end-of-life instructions. Decisions made in advance allow everyone there to be fully present in the moment."

I know for myself, I do not want to be put on life support. I also prefer to be cremated rather than buried. Don't waste the ground space. Just throw my ashes in the woods; don't place me in a jar on a mantle somewhere.

Hold tight to hope, but let me go.

A New Home Awaits

May 11, 2017

Day 129: Nothing Lasts Forever—Especially Suffering:
"In his kindness God called you to share in his eternal glory by means of Christ Jesus. So after you have suffered a little while, he will restore, support, and strengthen you, and he will place you on a firm foundation." 1 Peter 5:10

Day 130: A Renewed Heart:
"The Lord will work out his plans for my life—for your faithful love, O Lord, endures forever. Don't abandon me, for you made me." —Psalm 138:8

Day 131: Seeing His Answer:
"Abraham never wavered in believing God's promise. In fact, his faith grew stronger and in this he brought glory to God. He was fully convinced that God is able to do whatever he promises. And because of Abraham's faith, God counted him as righteous. And when God counted him as righteous, it wasn't just for Abraham's benefit. It was recorded for our benefit too, assuring us that God will also count us as righteous if we believe in him, the one who raised Jesus our Lord from the dead." —Romans: 4:20-24

Day 132: A New Home Awaits:
"You have decided the length of our lives. You know how many months we will live, and we are not given a minute longer." —Job 14:5

Crazy thing about the title for day 132's entry: My husband and I are in Canada right now sitting at the airport getting ready to return to the US. We just bought a new home for ourselves and our son. We are moving to Canada to escape the horror show that is Donald Trump and his administration. Plus we will be able to live debt free and send our son to college without him or us going into debt. Financially, it is a good decision. Healthcare wise, it is a good decision. Quality of life wise, it is a good decision. I will only be 4 hours from my brother in upstate New York and 7 hours from my brother and my nephews in Rhode Island. I am excited at the prospect of seeing my nephews more and being with my family more than once a year. It has not been an easy decision to leave my Colorado home that I have loved more than any home my entire life. It's not easy to leave a country that I have been proud to be a part of either, nor is it easy to leave my friends, but I feel as if God is intertwined in all that is taking place. The title of today's entry (as silly as it may seem) feels like confirmation that He is indeed working and is leading us in this direction.

I can relate to the scriptures that Anderson shares throughout the last four days to my life, especially right now. Although our suffering is not the kind that the people of Anderson's anecdotes have endured, we "have suffered a little while" as American citizens watching all that we have loved about our country quickly unravel as Trump has taken office. However, now it seems as if God aims to "restore, support, and strengthen" us and bring us to a place with a "firm foundation."  I know I am most likely reading more into all that is happening than is really there, but I still find it comforting. God is working "out his plans for my life."  I just need to remain faithful, like Abraham was faithful.

I have to say, I do not feel as if God counts me as righteous as He did Abraham.  All I can truly say, with any certainty, is that nothing lasts forever, hearts can be renewed, God is faithful...

And... a new home awaits.  

I Know, It's Been Awhile

May 8, 2017

I have not been keeping up with my blog lately because we are moving to Canada in less than two months and I have been packing up and staging my house. We have three fully furnished floors and a garage; ergo, I have been quite busy.  However, I have a few moments this morning, so I thought I'd try to catch up on all that Dr. Anderson has had to say.

Day 122: Clean and Free:
"In one of the villages, Jesus met a man with an advanced case of leprosy. When the man saw Jesus, he bowed with his face to the ground, begging to be healed. 'Lord,' he said, 'if you are willing, you can heal me and make me clean.' Jesus reached out and touched him. 'I am willing,' he said, 'Be healed!' And instantly the leprosy disappeared. Then Jesus instructed him not to tell anyone what had happened. He said, 'Go to the priest and let him examine you. Take along the offering required in the law of Moses for those who have been healed of leprosy. This will be a public testimony that you have been cleansed.'" —Luke 5:12-14

Anderson says that though leprosy can be healed today through medication the effects of the leprosy are still present. "We cannot reverse the damage already done. Scars don't magically disappear, and missing digits cannot be restored. Yet, when Jesus healed the leper, the man appeared as if he'd never had the disease." Though I have always believed that to be the case, the story itself never says or even suggests that the man was completely healed of any and all effects.  It just says he was "cleansed," that the "leprosy disappeared," not that he showed no signs of ever even having leprosy.  It's not to say that any of that changes the power of the story. It's just that I think we often assume things and make bold statements about biblical happenings as if we know exactly what went down, when in reality, we do not.

Day 123: Healing Faith:
"A woman in the crowd had suffered for twelve years with constant bleeding. She had suffered a great deal from many doctors, and over the years she had spent everything she had to pay them, but she had gotten no better. In fact, she had gotten worse. She had heard about Jesus, so she came up behind him through the crowd and touched his robe. For she thought to herself, 'If I can just touch his robe, I will be healed.'" —Mark 5:25-28

I have always appreciated this story of the woman who touched Jesus in the crowd fully believing that if she did, she could be healed.  It is a story of incredible faith. The first time I read it I admired the woman and wanted to have the kind of faith that she had.  I believe there have been times in my life where I have had such faith, but if I am to be honest, it waxes and wanes.

Day 124: No Obstacles To Healing:
"Jesus went over to their synagogue, where he noticed a man with a deformed hand. The Pharisees asked Jesus, 'Does the law permit a person to work by healing on the Sabbath?'" —Matthew 12:9-10

Anderson points out that for Jesus "There are no roadblocks to healing... We know that we can confidently call of Jesus to meet our needs—even on the Sabbath. He's never closed for business. His healing isn't limited to a specific group of people. He doesn't need permission. And his resources are unlimited," unlike today, where we are inundated with "artificial barriers" to treatment: insurance companies, hours of operation, needing special referrals, costs of treatment....the list goes on.

Day 125: Set Free From The Lies:
"If the Son sets you free, you are truly free." —John 8:26

Anderson's lesson today is wonderful and heartwarming, or at least it should be.  He shares a story about a man who entered a rehab center and found Jesus.  The man told Anderson, "Jesus found me when I was in a very dark hole. He pulled me out, dusted me off, cleansed my heart and soul, and called me his, even though I'd run from him for years. I want to help others find the truth and stop listening to the lies of the enemy."

Yes, I appreciate the fact that the man found Jesus and was freed from his addiction.  What makes me pull back a little is the last few words, "the lies of the enemy." It just gives me flashbacks to former church experiences.  It is interesting how just a few words can trigger a flight response in me, that desire to retreat and pull back.  The effects of my former experiences run so deep. I am surprised by just how deep.

Day 126:  Get To Know Him
"The Lord is good to everyone. He showers compassion on all his creation." —Psalm 145:9

The best part of what Anderson had to say in today's lesson is this: God is "not standing with a sledgehammer, waiting to bash us. No, he showers us with grace. When we are lost and not even looking for him, he pursues us..."

I believe that to be true, most of the time. When I was reading what Anderson had to say, I was picturing Jesus in place of God. Jesus is not "   standing with a sledgehammer, waiting to bash us."  I still battle with my image of God Himself.  I still see Him as being somewhat separate from Jesus, though I know that they are one.

Day 127: In God's Time, It's Never Too Late:
"Even when there was no reason for hope. Abraham kept hoping—believing that he would become the father of many nations. For God had said to him, 'That's how many descendants you will have!' And Abraham's faith did not weaken, even though, at about 100 years of age, he figured his body was a good as dead—and so was Sarah's womb." —Romans 4:18-19

When I was younger I was intrigued by the story of Abraham, especially when he was willing to sacrifice his son.  The whole time I kept thinking, "God is not going to let Abraham go through with it. Surely God will stop his hand before he harms his son."  And He did.  I also used to think about how Isaac must have felt knowing that something was up.  Why was there no lamb for the sacrifice? Where was the lamb? How horrified he must of been to learn that he was the lamb. How brave he was for not running away from his father.  He must have believed that God would not allow him to be sacrificed.  Still, it must have been a very frightening experience.  No one ever delves into Isaac's response to the situation, just Abraham's faith, but I'd say Isaac's faith is even more incredible.

Day 128: God's Grace Is For All:
"God knows people's hearts, and he confirmed that he accepts Gentiles by giving them the Holy Spirit, just as he did to us. He made no distinction between us and them, for he cleansed their hearts through faith...We believe that we are all saved the same way, by the underserved grace of the Lord Jesus." —Acts 15:8-9, 11

Reading Anderson's story today about the aftermath of a horrible car crash, it struck me just how hard it must be for Anderson to witness so much pain and trauma day in and day out, especially when he believes as he does. The emotional and physical pain he witnesses, it must take its toll on him now and again. I suppose he would say it is because of his relationship with God that he is able to handle what comes at him everyday.  It really makes you appreciate doctors and nurses.

All We Have To Do

May 2, 2017

Day 119: We're As Sick As The Secrets We Keep:
"Oh what joy for those whose disobedience is forgiven, whose sin is put out of sight! Yes, what joy for those whose record the Lord has cleared of guilt, whose lives are lived in complete honestly!" —Psalm 32:1-2

As I was reading the scripture I thought, "Why does it always come back to sin?" As a parent, I don't want my child to constantly think about what he has done wrong and how much he needs my forgiveness. It just bothers me that so much of our walk with God seems to be focused on groveling and feeling unworthy of His love. It's not that I think I am incredibly worthy, I just know that I wouldn't want my child to feel unworthy, like he has to behave in just the right way or he will lose my love and approval.

Anderson's lesson today is about not keeping secrets.  Secrets, in the sense that Anderson uses the word, is really about hidden sin. Trying to hide something from someone else when we clearly know that what we are hiding is wrong in the first place, can lead us down a dark path.  Repent and ask for forgiveness is the only way to deal with such sin and free ourselves from its power.  Though I don't like how much today's lesson reminds me of my former church experiences, there is truth to it.  

Day 120: Tug-Of-War Between Joy and Grief:
"I entrust my spirit into your hands. Rescue me, Lord, for you are a faithful God." —Psalm 31:5

The main point of Anderson's lesson today is that the grief we feel at the passing of someone we love is "just as important as the joy we feel" knowing that they will be going on to heaven and leaving "this broken world."

I'd like to say that I felt joy for my mother when she passed away, but I did not.  I felt a great many things, but joy was not one of them.

Day 121: Soul Survivor:
"Now may our Lord Jesus Christ himself and God our Father, who loved us and by his grace gave us eternal comfort and a wonderful hope, comfort you and strengthen you in every good thing you do and say." —2 Thessalonians 2:16-17

In today's lesson, Anderson shares a story about a young man who nearly lost his life because he sat on train tracks while he was drunk and high and didn't see the train until it was too late. Trey claims that he remembers the "train screeching to a stop. It was as if time stood still in that moment. A light that was so bright surrounded me, and I couldn't see anything else. Then this lone figure approached. It was a man, and he reached out for me. It was my grandfather, and he was asking me if I was ready to go with him." His grandfather had passed away ten years earlier. Trey spent six months in a coma, but he says, "The day I woke up was the same day my parents had agreed to remove me from life support. But somehow, Jesus protected me and helped me."

Anderson ends by reminding us that "No matter how bad the train wreck, God can put your life back on track."

I like Anderson's lesson today. Perhaps it's the English teacher in me; I just really appreciate metaphors. There have been times when I have felt that my life is a train wreck, but God has a way of putting me back on track...if I allow Him to.

Regardless of what we have done, what secrets we have kept, what internal battles we may have, God can help us overcome it all.  All we have to do is ask.